Melissa Brooks returned to work full time while her 3-year-old son struggled in preschool. After exploring informal referrals and traditional nanny agencies, she hired an au pair through Au Pair America. The live-in au pair provided language-rich, flexible care that allowed Melissa to take a major case while Trevor stabilized. Families considering au pairs should weigh flexibility, cultural fit, and total program costs versus other childcare options.

The problem: work demands and a child who was unhappy in preschool

When Melissa Brooks' son Trevor was 3, she returned to part-time work as a litigation paralegal. She enrolled Trevor in preschool, but he resisted the setting and began to regress on tasks and routines he had previously mastered. At the same time, a major case at the firm required her to move back to full time.

Melissa faced a common tradeoff: advance an important career opportunity or preserve her son's well-being. She decided to hire help.

Exploring options: friends, agencies, and costs

She first considered a referral from her church, but the candidate lacked legal work authorization and spoke limited English. Melissa wanted Trevor to be surrounded by "rich language" to support his development, so that mattered.

Next she checked local nanny agencies. Placement and salary estimates for a full-time live-out nanny seemed high, and the numbers made staying home look economically comparable. Melissa remembers an agency quoting substantial placement fees and an annual compensation package that would eat most of her pre-tax salary.

Choosing an au pair: a cultural match and flexible schedule

Melissa ultimately worked with Au Pair America to bring a 20-year-old au pair, Inna, from Ukraine. Inna planned to spend a year in the U.S. before graduate school in psychology. Melissa says Inna committed to Trevor's daily care and provided consistent language exposure and cultural perspective.

Au pairs typically live with a host family and provide childcare in exchange for a modest stipend and room and board, plus agency and program fees. That structure gave Melissa schedule flexibility to take the full-time assignment at the firm while keeping Trevor in a home environment with one-on-one attention. It also lowered the out-of-pocket weekly childcare cost compared with hiring a full-time private nanny through an agency, in Melissa's calculation at the time.

Results and considerations for other families

Melissa found the arrangement worked: Trevor stabilized, his language environment improved, and Melissa could take on the big case. She notes the tradeoffs - host-family living, cultural adjustment for the au pair, and the administrative steps of an exchange program.

Families considering an au pair should weigh: how much they value flexible hours and in-home care; whether a live-in caregiver fits household dynamics; and the total program cost, which includes agency fees, stipend, visa processing, and insurance. Au pairs enter on exchange visas sponsored by designated agencies and the program includes minimum training and supervision requirements.

For many families the choice comes down to balancing children's developmental needs, household preferences, and family finances. Melissa's decision preserved her career momentum and gave Trevor a secure, language-rich caregiving situation that suited his needs at the time.

  1. Verify current average total cost ranges for au pair programs (agency fees, stipend, visa and insurance) as of 2025.
  2. Verify typical placement and annual compensation figures for live-out nannies in the U.S. in 2025 for accurate cost comparisons.
  3. Confirm up-to-date Department of State rules and visa category (J-1) for au pairs and any relevant recent regulatory changes.

FAQs about Hire A Nanny

What is an au pair and how is it different from a nanny?
An au pair is typically a young adult who lives with a host family, provides childcare in exchange for a modest stipend and room and board, and participates in a cultural exchange program. A nanny is usually a paid employee who may live out and receive a market-rate salary and benefits. The au pair model emphasizes cultural exchange and flexible hours; a nanny is generally a more formal employment relationship.
Are au pairs legal to hire in the U.S.?
Yes. Au pairs in the U.S. typically come on a J-1 exchange visitor visa sponsored by designated agencies that follow Department of State rules. Families should use recognized agencies and confirm visa sponsorship, insurance coverage, and program requirements.
How do overall costs compare between an au pair and a traditional nanny?
Total costs vary widely by location and family needs. Au pairs often lower out-of-pocket weekly costs because room and board are provided, but families pay agency and program fees plus a stipend. Traditional nannies usually command higher salaries and possibly benefits. Families should calculate all expenses, including taxes, benefits, and agency fees, when comparing options.
What are common tradeoffs when choosing an au pair?
Tradeoffs include a live-in arrangement that affects household privacy, the cultural adjustment both the au pair and family must make, limited guaranteed childcare hours under exchange rules, and administrative steps for visa and program compliance.
How can families decide whether an au pair fits their needs?
Assess childcare hours needed, desire for one-on-one and language-rich care, willingness to host a young adult in your home, and total budget. Talk to other families, check agency reputations, and interview candidates carefully to find a good fit.