This updated guide encourages husbands to recognize the invisible labor of motherhood and offers four specific, repeatable ways to help: take dinner off her plate weekly, own the bedtime routine, pick up after yourself, and share discipline. Regular communication and rotating tasks make these efforts effective.
Introduction
Husbands often work long hours to provide for their families. Moms also work long hours - often unseen - managing schedules, meals, school logistics and emotional labor. This piece offers four practical ways husbands can recognize that workload and help shoulder it so parenting feels more balanced.
Why this matters
Parenting tasks are continuous and include a lot of invisible work: planning, remembering, smoothing transitions, and emotional support. When one partner carries most of that load, they burn out faster and the household dynamic becomes strained. Small, consistent actions from a partner change that balance and show respect for the work of parenting.
Four practical ways to help
1) Take dinner off her plate once a week
Call during the afternoon and offer to pick up or make dinner for the family at least once a week. If children need specific meals or preparations, confirm details so she isn't still doing work when you arrive. Include a small treat for her to make the gesture feel like a break, not just a task moved around.
2) Own the bedtime routine
Take responsibility for baths, teeth, pajamas and stories on a regular schedule. Bedtime care gives your partner reliable downtime and gives you nightly one-on-one time with the kids. Consistency helps children and reduces last-minute friction.
3) Pick up after yourself
Do your dishes, hang up your clothes, clear your tools and dispose of trash you make. The cumulative effect of small messes increases the other parent's workload. Sharing cleanup models responsibility for kids and shows respect for the household effort.
4) Share discipline and boundary-setting
Don't let one parent be the default enforcer. Agree on rules and consequences, and step in to follow through. Consistent, united responses teach children expectations and protect your partner from becoming the "bad cop" all the time.
Communicate, rotate, and check in
These four moves work best when you talk about them. Ask what feels overwhelming, agree on a rotation, and check in weekly. Flexibility matters: some weeks one parent will need more support. Notice mental load - the planning and remembering - and offer to take specific tasks off her list.
Closing
Helping doesn't require grand gestures. Regular, concrete actions - dinner, bedtime, cleanup, and shared discipline - reduce strain and build partnership. Be consistent, ask what she needs, and make those needs part of your routine.