The Lonely Single - Myth, Reality, and How to Enjoy Your Own Company

The stereotype that single people are lonely is oversimplified. While some research links marriage to certain health benefits, causality is debated. Singlehood has become more common and diverse. People can learn to enjoy their own company by cultivating meaningful activities and supportive social networks, distinguishing between wanting companionship and fearing loneliness.

The myth of the "lonely single"

You still hear it: married people live longer and single people are lonely and miserable. That sweeping idea has stuck around for decades, but it's overly simplistic. Many people choose to stay single, and many of them are content - even thriving.

Why single doesn't have to mean lonely

Being single can mean freedom over small daily choices: what you eat, when you go to bed, how you spend a Saturday night. The absence of a romantic partner is not the same as the absence of a rich social life. Friends, family, hobbies, and community ties often provide emotional support equal to or greater than a romantic relationship.

I'm in my mid-30s and single. I don't fit the caricature of the lonely person. I like sleeping late, cooking what I want, skipping a party when I'm tired, or leaving laundry for another day. Those things aren't signs of despair; they're choices that contribute to my well-being.

What research and trends say

Studies that compare married and unmarried people find mixed results: marriage sometimes correlates with better health and longevity, but researchers debate how much of that is caused by marriage itself and how much comes from selection (healthier people being more likely to marry). The headline phrase "married people live longer" misses that nuance.

Demographic trends since the early 2000s show an increase in single-person households and more diverse pathways through adulthood - later marriages, long-term partnerships without marriage, and solo living by choice. These shifts reflect economic, cultural, and technological changes, including how people meet and maintain relationships today. ¹

How to be comfortably single

Being comfortable alone is a skill you can practice. Start small: learn to enjoy a solo meal, a walk, or an evening with a book or a show. Build a social network that fits you: close friends, interest groups, or volunteer work. Focus on activities that provide meaning, not just distraction.

If you miss intimacy, recognize the difference between wanting companionship and fearing loneliness. The former can motivate healthy connections; the latter can push you into relationships that don't fit.

Final thought

Single life is not a default failure state. It's a way of living that many people choose and enjoy. The goal isn't to avoid being single at all costs; it's to learn how to be content with yourself, so you're never dependent on another person for your basic happiness.

1. Confirm recent research summaries on marriage and health to reflect current consensus on causality and selection effects.
2. Verify that single-person households have increased since 2006 and identify reliable demographic sources for that trend.