An au pair is a live-in caregiver who provides childcare and light household help while living with a host family in exchange for room, board, and a stipend. Modern placements are gender-neutral, governed by country-specific rules and often managed through agencies that handle matching, screening, and visa paperwork. Clear written agreements on duties, hours, time off, and compensation help avoid misunderstandings. Always verify immigration rules and program limits for the destination country.

What an au pair is

"Au pair" comes from French and originally meant a young person living "on par" (equal) with a host family. Today the role is gender-neutral: an au pair is a young caregiver who lives with a host family in exchange for room, board, a small stipend, and cultural exchange. Au pairs provide childcare and light household help while taking part in the family's daily life.

Typical duties and boundaries

Au pair duties usually focus on children: supervising, feeding, bathing, helping with homework, and school runs. Light household tasks that directly support childcare (tidying children's rooms, children's laundry, simple meals) are common. Professional domestic work - full cleaning, gardening, or heavy cooking - is not expected.

Most programs or agencies set clear limits on working hours and require regular days off. Hosts and au pairs should sign a written agreement that specifies hours, duties, pocket money (stipend), and days off.

Age, visas and program rules

Rules differ by country. Many exchange programs set an upper age limit (commonly mid-20s). The U.S. Department of State's J-1 Au Pair program, for example, has age and visa rules and places limits on hours and program length. Other countries have their own regulations or formal schemes; some rely on bilateral placement agencies or informal arrangements. Always check the host country's current immigration rules before arranging an au pair placement.

Host family responsibilities

Hosts should treat an au pair as a household member: provide a private or suitable room, meals, clear schedules, fair pocket money or stipend, transportation arrangements when appropriate, and time off. Hosts should introduce house rules, culture and language, and include the au pair in family activities. Good communication up front avoids misunderstandings.

Screening and agencies

Reputable au pair agencies help with matching, contracts, background checks, medical disclosures, emergency assistance, and visa paperwork. Screening commonly includes references, criminal-record checks, and health history. Families can also agree additional training or language study as part of the cultural exchange.

Ending or extending a placement

Most au pair programs are time-limited. At the end of the agreed term, the au pair usually returns home unless both parties agree to extend the arrangement or the au pair moves to another visa/status. Check program rules and local immigration law before planning extensions. 1

Practical tips

  • Put expectations in writing before arrival.
  • Clarify working hours, stipend, and days off.
  • Respect privacy and cultural differences.
  • Use an experienced agency or check official immigration guidance for visas and legal obligations. 2
  1. Confirm age limits and specific rules for major au pair programs (e.g., U.S. J-1 program age cap and allowable work hours).
  2. Verify typical allowed weekly and daily working-hour limits for common au pair programs (U.S., EU countries, UK post-Brexit).
  3. Check current extension options and maximum program length for the U.S. J-1 au pair program and comparable schemes in other countries.

FAQs about Fille Au Pair

Is an au pair the same as a nanny?
No. An au pair is typically a young live-in cultural exchange participant who provides childcare and light household help in exchange for room, board and a stipend. A nanny is usually a paid professional employee whose duties and employment terms differ and may include more extensive responsibilities.
Do au pairs have to be female?
No. Although "fille au pair" is French for a female participant, modern programs use the gender-neutral term "au pair." Participants can be any gender, depending on the program and family preference.
How many hours can an au pair work?
Working-hour limits vary by country and program. Many schemes set weekly and daily maximums and require regular days off. Check the specific program rules for the host country and include hours in the written agreement.
What should a host provide?
Hosts should provide suitable private accommodation, meals, a clear schedule, agreed stipend or pocket money, time off, and support for cultural integration. They should also pick up the au pair on arrival or arrange transportation if appropriate.
Do I need an agency to hire an au pair?
No, but a reputable agency simplifies visa paperwork, matching, background checks, and emergency support. If you arrange privately, ensure thorough screening and confirm immigration and labor requirements for your country.